Confessions of a Working Mom

If I go back to 1991 I was a freshman in high school. When we had PE we were given lockers and had to change into PE clothes, basically in front of each other and then change back once class was done. My first locker room experience was terrifying. I quickly glanced around the room to see all these girls with full womenly bodies and mine was far from it. I would change practically inside my locker so no one would see me. I know every girl goes through this, the insecure moments of our body and sadly we will deal with these moments the rest of our lives. Now let's think about what is happening today to young women. Boys are suing their way into girls' locker rooms because "they feel like a woman" and that argue they deserve to be in a room. It doesn't make sense. I see schools give individual bathrooms for these "Boys AKA want to be girls" and they still insist on being in the locker room with the girls and not using a single bathroom to change.  Do

  All right, so it's that day you have been waiting for, and maybe you and your girlfriends are finally getting to go hang all day at some awesome event, winery, spa and you went to great lengths to make sure you have the hubby or babysitter, or grandparent covering for you. As you start your day it's all going good until the first text comes in: Where are the kid's shoes? I can't find the kid's snack bag? Where is the brush for the kid's hair? Or the most famous When are you coming home? I need help with the kids? (I can't help but love this movie by Michelle Pfeiffer who is a single mom juggling life, totally worth watching this video link) moms juggling life. Yep, I have not only received these texts but seen this happen to my good friends when they were in the middle of important things like work, public speaking events, all sorts of things that they couldn't leave but were expected to.    I can't tell you how many

This week I was reminded of one of the chapters in my Leading by my Ponytail book. It is called big girls don't cry. I had received a heartfelt letter from someone who read my latest book and was moved so much that so I started crying. I joked with my friends how I was becoming a sap as I got older. As I climbed my way up the ladder of success, I adapted the "act like a man, be like a man" mentality that meant don't be emotional, dress in black suits and do not cry. And I always saw this double standard when men leaders would tear up and cry, it would seen as endearing, but when women leaders cry they are considered weak. If men wear pink its trendy but if women wear pink they are not serious enough for the board room. Years ago as I was in mentality of act like a man in the workplace we were watching a woman politician talk and she started to tear up and cry as she talked about something passionate to her and a few moments later I hear one of the men say &qu

What is Your Purpose? I have actually had several chats with friends recently about this topic and I was reminded of my dissertation that I wrote that focused on why women were not excelling into senior leadership positions as fast as their male counterparts. I have to say I thought for sure when I did this study I would find what I thought was the case that the "Good Old Man's Club" was the reason women were not getting their due justice. But what I found was nothing close to that. Sure men had a little part of that but what I really found was that women were not moving into these leadership positions because they had families, children and were not sure if they could take on the position and balance it all. So very often, women turn down the big jobs until their kids get older. In fact, later in life, I did the exact same thing with my kids. I looked at big jobs and would think to myself, how much time do I have to be away from my family, so I would look at som

Work-Life Balance Work-life balance might as well be a four-letter word in the world of women. We all say have balance, but when you are fighting your way up the chain to make it as a woman, balance seems to be the last thing on your mind. Why? Well us women have babies, and those babies take 9 months to grow in our tummy and then usually 8 weeks before we can go back to work. So we have a bit of disadvantage when it comes to working our way to the top without interruptions. When I got my first big chance to take over a big leadership role, I took a look at the organization and saw my predecessor left it in disarray. I had just had my daughter and was trying to manage this crazy schedule to keep everyone happy. I spent at least 60 hours a week at my job pulling this org back into shape. I would take her to preschool, then go pick her up around lunch, then wait for my hubby to get home then go back to work till 10 at night. I had so much fixing to do and so much to prove,

How to Negotiate as a Woman! Alright, ladies so when I talk about this, often people's minds go the movie Erin Brockovich done by Julia Roberts. I can't help but love and laugh about the outfits and her using her "womanly powers" to persuade men to do her bidding and her famous line  "What makes you think you can just walk in there and take what you want? They're called boobs Ed." So am I saying let's pull an Erin Brockovich, no not at all? (Ok I may have used my "womanly powers" on a rare occasion, haven't we all?). Do women need to negotiate differently than men to see success, Yes! Just remember any bad deal you have ever gotten was because you agreed to it.  As women, we already have some built-up stereotypes in us and in other people's minds, thanks to our fantastic societal culture. Studies show that the majority of the time women will not negotiate for themselves in just about any area. We have to first bre

I grew up in a home with a very helpful father. When he came home from work, he didn't just get in his chair, put his feet up, and wait for dinner. My father helped with everything from dinner, to laundry, children, to whatever was needed to help my mom, and to add to that he was a gentleman as well — always opening doors, taking heavy items out of people's hands, and helping out. So when I grew up, I saw this nice balance of division of labor between my parents, and that is how I built my relationship with my husband. I told him we were a team, and that I needed him to help with dishes, cleaning, and laundry and watching children just as much as I was, why, because I was working full time just like him. So would it be fair for me to work all day, do all the cooking, all the laundry, all the cleaning? No! Or cancel my work cause he wouldn't watch kids or help, No, I would be wiped out and completely unbalanced. So we have always done it like this. In fact, if I am worki

I am a business owner of three companies, a college professor, writer, coach, and public speaker. I am also married and have two beautiful children and an amazing husband. The one question I get all the time is "how do you do it?" How can you be a mom and do all of this? Which I bet you men rarely get the question of how do you work and be a dad. I have often as well been given the guilt talking to from women and men who say that I can't be a good mom and be great at the jobs that I have and I need to choose to do only one of them, which I find this to be totally ridiculous. Why do men get to go to work and be a dad but we (women) have to choose between the two? As a mom, I work to balance my jobs and my kids but sometimes I have to prioritize my job first. Why? Because this woman needs to make money to take care of all the needs of her children. I am a go-getter who believes in building a strong woman-owned business that gives me the financial freedom to do what

In my new book Authentically You, I talk about habits and how it takes 30 days to build a good habit. I also provide a 30-day guide to becoming more authentically you. So let's talk about habits and how they affect us. Ever since I started playing sports at the young age of 10, I started early on, learning about habits and routines. Each practice, I would do repetitive drills to learn the skill I needed. I had to get good grades in school to play sports, so I had a good routine of doing homework and studying each day. I wanted to be the best in my sport, so these habits continued all the way through college. And to get better and better at my sports or anything I was doing, I had to create good habits and routines. As I did this as a young girl, these habits transferred over to my adult life. When I talk about routines, I don't mean just having coffee every morning (which I do). But our habits will shape our present circumstances. To quote Ben Franklin, “Your net worth t