Can women have work-life balance and still achieve success?

Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance might as well be a four-letter word in the world of women. We all say have balance, but when you are fighting your way up the chain to make it as a woman, balance seems to be the last thing on your mind. Why? Well us women have babies, and those babies take 9 months to grow in our tummy and then usually 8 weeks before we can go back to work. So we have a bit of disadvantage when it comes to working our way to the top without interruptions. When I got my first big chance to take over a big leadership role, I took a look at the organization and saw my predecessor left it in disarray. I had just had my daughter and was trying to manage this crazy schedule to keep everyone happy. I spent at least 60 hours a week at my job pulling this org back into shape. I would take her to preschool, then go pick her up around lunch, then wait for my hubby to get home then go back to work till 10 at night. I had so much fixing to do and so much to prove, I literally would work nonstop till I stepped out the door. There was not a moment of downtime. I had no work-life balance in that time of my life, and I felt like I couldn't take time off to be a mom because there were plenty of people who didn't have newborns just waiting to grab my spot. At the time, I didn't think about talking to HR to see if I could work remotely a day or two a week. I thought they would think I couldn't handle the job and so I did everything I could to be stellar, top of the line and always there. And well it worked, after a year of running myself into the ground,  I was promoted to an Associate Dean position, past many other people in line for it. They were so impressed with my work. The person hiring me said I am hiring you over others with more experience because of your hustle and how you changed the org into a flourishing environment.

As I look back on this, I think my daughter turned two that year. How many special moments did I lose and sacrifice to get moved to the top spot because as a woman, I didn't think I could have balance and be a top leader. I thought I had to sacrifice my family time to make it.  How amazing was my husband to put up with my endless work hours and me ignoring him and the baby to make it to my big position. Just when I thought, ok, I've made it now, I can rest, no, that was not the case at all. I had set a pace for these people that was not something I could maintain. They expected so much because of what I did. I realized I had set myself up for failure with unrealistic expectations. How often do we do that? Put unrealistic expectations and then fail and then blame ourselves for not being good enough (ok if you could see me I have both hands raised).

How do we solve work-life balance? It starts with creating good boundaries with your employer. Find out their expectations, and as well, you need to give them your expectations. Organizations are becoming much more friendly to working mothers. Asking about remote work. This is something that is becoming a normal thing in today's workforce. Finding out their policy on time off, benefits, and their point of view on taking time off helps as well. Even if they are not a fan of taking time off, by law, they have to give it to you, and they cannot discriminate. I meet so many people who will never take their 2-3 weeks off during the year and then the time expires. If you have paid time off, take it. You need it and don't feel guilty about it and don't be checking emails and trying to work on your time off. Put in response in your email that says you are out of the office. Studies show you will have better production at work if you take time off to reset.

                                       

     

                                       
Next talk about your life balance with your hubby/wife/significant other and children. Find out what is important to them and how you can make sure those things happen. They need to understand your work and hours as well. I am very open with my kids about my work. If we are all home together then I try to do something in the morning with them while everyone is fresh, then when we get home by 12 for lunch, I'll let them play and lounge around while I work for a couple of hours. I always tell them mom has to work so I can make money for us to do the fun stuff they want to do. So they know when mom is in her office working I am not ignoring them I am making money for them. Finally, communicate with your boss, with your family. If life is getting really off balance communicate so you can get back to a balanced life. Life will never be perfectly balanced, we will always have times of "craziness" but it is possible to have a balanced life most of the time.

Live, Love, Laugh, and be your Authentic Self
Dr. Julie Ducharme
ww.drjulieducharme.com
leadingbymyponytail.com