How to Negotiate as a Woman!
Alright, ladies so when I talk about this, often people's minds go the movie Erin Brockovich done by Julia Roberts. I can't help but love and laugh about the outfits and her using her "womanly powers" to persuade men to do her bidding and her famous line
"What makes you think you can just walk in there and take what you want? They're called boobs Ed." So am I saying let's pull an Erin Brockovich, no not at all? (Ok I may have used my "womanly powers" on a rare occasion, haven't we all?). Do women need to negotiate differently than men to see success, Yes! Just remember any bad deal you have ever gotten was because you agreed to it.
As women, we already have some built-up stereotypes in us and in other people's minds, thanks to our fantastic societal culture. Studies show that the majority of the time women will not negotiate for themselves in just about any area. We have to first break this stereotype that women do not negotiate. I want you to remember this "Everything is negotiable"! And often people look at negotiation as some major scary conflict, but it's not. If you approach negotiation as problem-solving, you take on an entirely new ideology of how to solve the conflict, which is really just a negotiation.
When I coach women on this they always say "I just don't want any conflict". And that is one of the biggest issues. We talk a lot about the wage gap between men and women but as studies show, women do not negotiate for their pay when men do and thus why very often men have much higher salaries than women. Now am I saying the wage gap is lack of us women not trying? Of course not, but if we want to close the gap in many areas, we have to start first with being willing to negotiate. How can you as women learn to negotiate better and see more success? Let me give you a few tips:
Tip 1
When you negotiate don't do it issue by issue. Come in with a package and negotiate it all together. When you do it issue by issue, it is considered negative and almost like you are complaining, but put it all together into a package form and you will get a much more positive response.
Tip 2
When negotiating do this as a collaborative problem. For example; "Can you help me figure out how to deal with these issues"? This brings in the person you are wanting to negotiate with and tells them you need help and leaders are more likely to work with you if it is a collaborative problem.
Tip 3
Know and research your problem/topic so that when you present it to your leader/boss, if they ask questions you are knowledgable in the areas you are trying to negotiate. If you look ignorant which they already have a negative stereotype of women negotiating in there head then being knowledgeable will help dispel that.
Tip 4
You have to come in knowing at what point is this not a good deal for me and I need to walk away.
Tip 5
This is probably the most important of all tips, communicating often and being honest in your communication can avoid a lot of conflicts. Don't stay silent because you worry about conflict. There is such a thing as healthy conflict when done properly.
My challenge for you this week is this, find something easy to negotiate, even if it's a outfit on sale at a store. Start with something easy. Practice until you can work your way up to the more serious stuff.
If you are curious and want to go more in-depth about negotiation tactics for women, email me @ juliemducharme@gmail.com. If there are other aspects you'd like to work on, I offer one-on-one coaching. Coaching packages can be found on my website www.drjulieducharme.com.
Live, Love, Laugh, and always be your Authentic Self.
Dr.'s orders!
Dr.'s orders!
Dr. Julie
Ducharme
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