Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones my break my bones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Do you remember saying that as a kid? I do! And can I just say this is the most misleading quote ever? Guess what words do really hurt. I was reminded yesterday as I was viciously verbally accosted by someone. I have never seen such rage or meanness in a person, but there I was with my son holding my arm squeezing it because he was scared and myself wondering if this person was going to hurt me physically. The words they said couldn’t be more untrue. They cut through me like a knife because this person was attacking my character, my passion, my integrity and all while my 7-year-old son stood by me. I didn’t say a word but stared at  them thinking how do I get out of here and protect my son. This person finally left since I would not respond, but as my anger built up inside of me at how horrible this person was to me, I started to cry. It was all I could do because I was so angry. Ever been so angry you started crying?

As I drove home with tears streaming down my face wondering how could someone be so cruel and so wrong. My sweet boy says to me, “mom that person is just so mean you need to put them out of your mind.” I swear it was my Good Lord speaking through my son as he saw the hurt that was inside of me. When I commit to something I do it wholeheartedly, and I have passion and always give 110%. When my character is called into questions, it hurts because, I pride myself in my integrity, and passion and empowerment. Gosh, that is what I do for a living is to empower women young to old. When I got home with the kids, I was trying to get dinner ready, and the tears started streaming again. Why was I so bothered by someone whom I don’t know, don’t care how they think about me. Why was I letting this person get to me? It's not the first time someone has said something horrible to me. But as I reflected back on that quote “words will never hurt me” it's not true. Your words hurt and today with social media, texting and more people find it even easier to be rude and say horrible things because they don't have to see your face. This person that I had never met till this moment could have sat down with me and had a conversation about their concerns, and we could have worked through their issues. But instead, they used Anger and viciousness to attack me. Please remember however angry you are your words hurt, they last and don’t go away and once you have said them, you can’t take them back.

 I remember someone once said you could apologize but it doesn’t take away the hurt you did. It makes sense. Sure you can say you are sorry, but those mean, hurtful things you said will always stay in the back of a person mind. I spent 10 years hearing one of my professor's words “You are not smart enough to be in college you should drop out.” Ring in my ears as I got my BA, MBA, and DBA. I remember getting hooded as a doctor and still thinking I'll show you I am smart enough. So if I can hold onto those words for 10 years what do you think these poor young children who are being bullied, cyberbullied and more hang on too. We are raising our children in a world where as adults we can be cruel with no repercussion, where there is no accountability for our actions, and everyone gets a prize, and everyone should get everything equal so its fair. And if it's not fair, I get to terrorize you with anger till I get my prize. Well, the world is not fair and using some common decency to behave, and some respect is something that needs to be taught. So my challenge to you is to think before you speak, cool down if you are angry, give it a day to think about it. But most of all “Words will always hurt someone. So empower someone today with words of kindness.