Surviving Motherhood and being a working mom

Summer is here and for all working moms, life just got more complicated, especially if you don't have thousands of dollars to poor into camps, and clubs, and more. But as working moms, we have to find that balance of working and spending time with our kids. After working with thousands of people and especially women over the last 20 years I have found some great tips to share that I found success using them:

Don't get stuck consumed in work

I have found the happiest and most successful working moms balance life in many areas, not just kids and work they integrate in time with friends, community events. hobbies and even have time to consider their health. If all you do is work, work, work and then do kid time you will burn out quickly. You need time for yourself, your friends, and so much more. Find the balance! Ask yourself, will anything change if I finish this tonight or tomorrow morning? Usually, the answer is no, but often we women are so consumed with being the best that we don't realize our co-workers are home enjoying life while we are still working away at home. Find your balance! I have been remote working for the last 10 years and it's tough to find the break between work and home life, especially as a workaholic like me but I started cutting myself off at a certain time and factoring in playtime with my kids, and time with my husband. These changes made life so much more enjoyable. 

Decide what are your absolutes

We all know what has to be done and what we can fudge on or wait. I actually everyday make myself a todo list. I start with the must haves, what has to be done, and go down to it can wait. I also factor in putting family time on the calendar. In the summer, I'll do something fun in the morning with the kids and then I'll work in the afternoon and let the kids veg out. Break time is ok, meaning you get a break and kids get a break. Don't think as a mom you have to entertain kids for 24 hours a day. Independent play is important as well. 

Creating your work boundaries.

We have to find boundaries. We have to separate work from home life and if you work at home like me, it's pretty tough because essentially I am on all the time. I own and run 4 companies. I have clients all over the world in many different times zones. If I didn't set boundaries, well... I would never sleep. I started putting my phone on sleep mode and from 8pm till 8am the following day, my phone is on silent. This requires me to not be constantly on my phone, email, etc. I also set boundaries with my clients. I have a calendar link I send them and I block off all those times I should be at home relaxing so they can't schedule meetings with me all hours of the day. I also built boundaries with my family giving them specific times I need to work and not be bothered. This brought much more balance into my life and household. 

Work smarter not harder

Since COVID, just about everything is deliverable. Meaning if I go to the store and shop, it will take me 30 min to get there, 30 min at least to shop, and then 30 min home. I lose 1.5 hours but if I take 15 min on my Prime Now, all my groceries will be delivered in 2 hours and I saved my time and gas money. Be smart! Find out what can you set up for delivery and streamline your life. And shopping online actually saves me money. I don't buy the extras that I don't need. And there is just about an app for everything so take advantage of it. Apps can streamline your life and bring more balance. And ladies you are not less of a mom if order your groceries online, it's called being a smarter mom. 

It takes two!

There are two options here, either you are a single mom or you have a partner that is willing to support you, your dreams and help you. But if you have a partner that is not willing to do their part and it is unequal, it's time to have a talk and let your significant other know that you need a partner. After those kiddos are in bed, take time to sit down and see how you both can break up the work to make it manageable. Remind them you are not superwomen (even though we want everyone to think we are). Let's be honest about our weaknesses and what we need support on. Often many of my girlfriend's spouses just had no clue because they never asked for help. They thought, well she got it cause she is not asking for help and let me tell you so many guys think this way. 

NO room for a perfectionist

Ladies let's be real. We are not perfect. Shoot, I wrote an entire book about how I practically had a mental breakdown from not being perfect. So give yourself some grace. I know we are our own worst critics and I am totally guilty of this every day. I look at myself and think...I could be more fit, I could have a more organized house, the laundry should be put up, I should have done (Bla Bla Bla). I like to say I am a recovering perfectionist meaning I am not a perfectionist (haha). So just like you give so much grace to so many people give some to yourself. 

Dr. Julie Ducharme

And always be your authentic self