Superbowl Half Time Show Empowering or Degrading?
My Daughter Abby carrying the football at
at a Jen Welter Girls Football camp
I have been getting countless emails after the Superbowl about my thoughts on the Halftime show. I had women who thought it was an amazing performance and other women thought this set us back in the women's movement because of how over-sexualized it was. I spent the last couple days listening and reading, doing my research on these two performers and here is my take on it.
When I first heard the performers were Shakira and Jlo I knew the show would not be age-appropriate for my 11-year-old daughter, the music alone and the words talk about many things my innocent daughter would be clueless so I knew I wasn't going to let you her watch the live show.
Let me step back for a moment and talk about football. My father played football in college, he coached for most of my elementary years and then we watched my brother play football in high school. We watched football every Sunday and when the Superbowl would come around we would go over to my Grandpa Willies and watch it all together. Football was part of our life and it was a family affair and I believe this is for many families. Football is something that brings them together. So many consider the Superbowl a family affair, they sit down in front of that 60 in TV in their football gear and cheer on their team, with those delicious Superbowl snacks. So to play the devil's advocate, a friend said football is just really a man's sport and men are the only one's watching anyway. Well, I am pretty sure my friend Dr. Jen Welter, the first woman to coach in the NFL would disagree with you! It's women, kids, and families, some places football is like religion "Friday Night Lights".
Let me first establish that Shakira and Jlo are phenomenal performers, in top physical shape and did some amazing things in this show. So there is no doubt they are talented women and I am not going to say they are not talented because that is not true. But as women who support women's empowerment, I was curious to see how the show went off. As I watched it I wasn't surprised at what I saw. This was a typical performance by Shakira and Jlo in scantily clad clothes, lots of shaking and well I think we could have gone without the stripper pole and orgy looking group below her or those couple crotch shots with her hand between her legs. It might have been overkill but I wasn't surprised. And I think if this had been an adult show where we knew no kids were present at the game or the millions watching on TV, was only adult women and men, I don't think the uproar wouldn't have been as big.
But think about this, Shikira and Jlo have become millionaires and top performers because we cheered them on, the sexier the better, the more shaking the better. I mean what can we expect? Shikara is my age and Jlo about 10 years older than me. But go back to when they were young and what was expected of women. There was no one in the music industry saying come as you are. They were saying sex sells, sexy women sell, how much are you willing to take off to get your career going, how much of yourself are you willing to sacrifice to get the attention of the world? Then how many told them they weren't pretty enough, skinny enough or good enough.
Truth be told I have been told I am not smart enough, not pretty enough, not good enough and the list goes on and as a young woman I considered for a moment 9very short moment) I thought what am I willing to compromise to get me to where I need to get? We all have had these thoughts, when we were denied or told we are worthless. I have had men tell me if I slept with them they would promote me, I have had all sorts of propositions to move ahead fast but thankfully my answer was a steadfast NO to how much am I was willing to compromise. I decided compromise would never get me anywhere. But from a society that believes sex sells, and over sexualizes our kids, and has an unrealistic view of how women should act and behave, can we blame Shakira and Jlo for doing what we have supported for years to do?
But here is the rub, they are grown women, that are intelligent, and yes could make a decision to dial it down a bit and bring in a more kid-friendly show. Yes, they could or at least have taken out the stripper pole and crotch shot. Yeah, I think we could have lived without that.
And here is the real question, was it empowering or degrading? As I have got older and have grown into my skin, learning my worth and learning that everyone has different talents and there are people that I will disagree with on a deeply personal level, I can still appreciate them and their talents and who they are. My culture and upbringing was and is conservative and for me, sure that performance was a bit over the top and not something I want my daughter to see. I want her to be her without having to shake it or be scantily clothed to get attention. For Shakira and Jlo this was their dream, it was their moment of empowerment and what they thought would be empowering for women. I doubt they expected this type of response. Remember we made them, we paid for the tickets, we cheered them on over the years and then they did what we have cheered on for years to do and suddenly we got conscious cause it was not kid-friendly. So what should we expect from them?
My final word on this is, we will never get anywhere as women if as soon as something offends us we pop off and talk so negative about women. Remember these two women are human beings who I am sure hurt, especially when millions of women write things like they are talentless, shameful, and disgusting people. Because at the end of the day we know that is not true.
So you might have chosen empowering or degrading, but I am choosing to pick kindness because sometimes even the people we don't love and those we disagree with, need kindness. Trust me, kindness goes a long way and I am not about to become the person who once told me I had no worth, no smarts, and no beauty. If you want to empower and make a change it starts with you!
Dr. Julie Ducharme
Live, love, laugh and always be your authentic self
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