The working mom guilt
So one of my favorite working moms movie is Sara Jessica Parker in I Don't Know How Does She do that. I felt it was like my life story. She is married to this amazing husband (me too) who puts up with her growing career which is sooo daunting. Her kids are young (just like mine) and she is desperately trying to do her job, be there for her kids and her husband. But she has this guilt, she missed her son's first haircut, she tries to be part of the baking something homemade for the school event, doesn't work out. She finds out she has lice when she is in a business meeting from her kids and she always looks a bit disheveled but she is darn good at what she does so everyone looks past that but she just feels this guilt. I can relate and I think many of you working moms can relate as well. And for all you single working moms God bless you cause you are doing double duty. But here is the question I had to ask myself, should I feel guilty cause I can't be the Martha Stuart, Pinterest mom who is dressed to the T always, makes amazing everything for every event, doesn't miss a beat mom? We all feel that pressure! Will my kids turn out bad because I didn't volunteer in their classroom twice a week or because I didn't make it to every school activity? I use to worry about that. Will they still love me. Of course, they will. Us moms are all overachievers (well most of us there are a few exceptions we just won't talk about in this blog). So you may ask how do you know Julie. Well my teachers all say they are good kids, well adjusted and every time I pick them up from school they say "I had a great day" When I work with them on their homework they show me what they learned and when I tuck them in bed and read to them, give them baths, play games with them I see that they are ok if mom is working. In fact, often I say mommy needs to work today so she can make some extra money so we can do some extra fun stuff. They get it, they really do. But as with anything find balance. I can be a working mom and not feel guilty because I find balance and time with my family. Every day when I pick up the kids we talk about the day. We eat dinner at the table (studies show so much more success from kids at the table) when we eat no technology just conversation about the day. I give them baths, help them get ready for bed and we do reading times. All this time together is always important for them to feel like they connected with mom. I also made Friday nights family night. So it might just be watching a movie, we go for a walk on the beach, ride our bikes around, it does not have to be something that cost a bunch of money we just make it family time. I also try and come up with different fun local trips we can do that don't cost money or are pretty affordable for us to do, going to the park, museum, concerts in the park. So when you add it all up, the kids will remember these events and we get in plenty of family time. Sure I cant volunteer in the class or make it to every school party, or field trip but my kids know I love them. I remember growing up my dad had to work a lot so my mom could be a stay at home mom but even with him working a lot and often he came straight from work still in his work clothes to make it to my sports games. I knew he loved me and if he had to work a lot I was ok with him cause knowing you are loved is much more important then making it to every little thing.
Comments
Post a Comment